Mark Twain despre limba germană

Acum un an jumate (aşa de mult timp a trecut?) am încercat să mă uit peste limba germană. Nu am rezistat mult. Astăzi m-a bătut iarăşi puţin gândul şi am început cu analiza lui Mark Twain intitulată The Awful German Language. Tot cu ea am terminat, cred, defintiv cu limba germană, poate voi încerca pe viitor, cândva, cu franceza, dar ce a scris Mark Twain merită menţionat. S-ar putea să fie destul de multe paragrafe căci mi-e greu să selectez doar câteva.

Adjective
"One might better go without friends in Germany than take all this trouble about them. [...] Now there are more adjectives in this language than there are black cats in Switzerland, and they must all be elaborately declined. [...] Difficult? -- troublesome? -- these words cannot describe it. I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective."

Substantive
"In German, all the Nouns begin with a capital letter. Now that is a good idea; and a good idea, in this language, is necessarily conspicuous from its lonesomeness. I consider this capitalizing of nouns a good idea, because by reason of it you are almost always able to tell a noun the minute you see it. You fall into error occasionally, because you mistake the name of a person for the name of a thing, and waste a good deal of time trying to dig a meaning out of it. German names almost always do mean something, and this helps to deceive the student. I translated a passage one day, which said that "the infuriated tigress broke loose and utterly ate up the unfortunate fir forest" (Tannenwald). When I was girding up my loins to doubt this, I found out that Tannenwald in this instance was a man's name."

Genuri
"In German, a young lady has no sex, while a turnip has
example:
Gretchen. Wilhelm, where is the turnip?
Wilhelm. She has gone to the kitchen.
Gretchen. Where is the accomplished and beautiful English maiden?
Wilhelm. It has gone to the opera."

Long words
"In my note-book I find this entry:
July 1. -- In the hospital yesterday, a word of thirteen syllables was successfully removed from a patient.
Some German words are so long that they have a perspective. Observe these examples:
Stadtverordnetenversammlungen. Wiedererstellungbestrebungen. Generalstaatsverordnetenversammlungen. Kinderbewahrungsanstalten.

These things are not words, they are alphabetical processions. [...] I take a great interest in these curiosities. Whenever I come across a good one, I stuff it and put it in my museum. In this way I have made quite a valuable collection. When I get duplicates, I exchange with other collectors, and thus increase the variety of my stock.
[...] it is a great distress to the new student [...] So he resorts to the dictionary for help, but there is no help there. The dictionary must draw the line somewhere -- so it leaves this sort of words out. And it is right, because these long things are hardly legitimate words, but are rather combinations of words, and the inventor of them ought to have been killed.

I wish to submit the following local item, from a Mannheim journal, by way of illustration:

"In the daybeforeyesterdayshortlyaftereleveno'clock Night, the inthistownstandingtavern called 'The Wagoner' was downburnt. When the fire to the onthedownburninghouseresting Stork's Nest reached, flew the parent Storks away. But when the bytheraging, firesurrounded Nest ITSELF caught Fire, straightway plunged the quickreturning Mother-Stork into the Flames and died, her Wings over her young ones outspread."

Even the cumbersome German construction is not able to take the pathos out of that picture -- indeed, it somehow seems to strengthen it. This item is dated away back yonder months ago. I could have used it sooner, but I was waiting to hear from the Father-stork. I am still waiting."

Concluzii
"If I had not shown that the German is a difficult language, I have at least intended to do so. [...] And if I have not also shown that German is a harassing and infuriating study, my execution has been at fault, and not my intent. "

"There are people in the world who will take a great deal of trouble to point out the faults in a religion or a language, and then go blandly about their business without suggesting any remedy. I am not that kind of person. I have shown that the German language needs reforming. Very well, I am ready to reform it. At least I am ready to make the proper suggestions. Such a course as this might be immodest in another; but I have devoted upward of nine full weeks, first and last, to a careful and critical study of this tongue, and thus have acquired a confidence in my ability to reform it which no mere superficial culture could have conferred upon me."

Câteva sugestii:
"In the first place, I would leave out the Dative case. It confuses the plurals; and, besides, nobody ever knows when he is in the Dative case, except he discover it by accident -- and then he does not know when or where it was that he got into it, or how long he has been in it, or how he is going to get out of it again. The Dative case is but an ornamental folly -- it is better to discard it."

"I would import some strong words from the English tongue -- to swear with, and also to use in describing all sorts of vigorous things in a vigorous ways"

Aici puteţi citi în întregime The Awful German Language de Mark Twain.